Okay, I’ll admit it. I am guilty of unnecessarily stressing myself out over things that really are, in the grand scheme of things, no big deal. I tend to internally blow things out of proportion, which leads to over-thinking, which then leads to increased stress and sometimes a minor breakdown. I just want to throw my hands up in the air, screaming “I can’t do this!” like a lunatic. We’ve all been there, right? Between searching for a solution to my living situation, debating what my next career move should be, marathon training, and still finding time to manage my friends and family, I often feel like my head will explode. And on top of that, I am not the most confident person when it comes to making big decisions (surprise!). I won’t bore you with minute details but I do want to share the end result. Plain and simple: Everything has worked itself out (or is at least on the brink of it). I will be starting a new job at an ad agency in Midtown Miami in just under two weeks and have found an accommodating apartment that will not require me to make too much of a drastic change too quickly. Perfect. And here I was freaking out. Sometimes all it takes is saying things out loud and/or talking about them with someone else to realize that you already have a decision made. What you’re really looking for is reassurance. For me, at least. Lesson? Have confidence in your decisions and stop fearing that you will make the wrong ones. Even if you do turn out making what you think is the wrong move, it at least served as a valuable learning experience. Time to turn things around and move forward. As stated in earlier posts: There aren’t many things that are irreversible. Stop being so damn scared.
On another note, remember how I mentioned I’ll be going through those mood swings and bitchy moments during this training period? TADA! Here it is. Last Thursday night I stopped my run at six miles feeling like I was going to collapse. I went home to a hypotensive blood pressure of 81/41. I was severely dehydrated. I hate hospitals and refused to go to the ER. So I stayed up all night with a life-saving friend that kept me company and made sure I chugged water and gatorade all night long. I was back to normal by Friday mid-day, but needless to say, I gave my body a break for the weekend. Already discouraged from the incident, I went for a short tempo run on Monday night and somehow managed to strain my groin (self-diagnosis). Really? Another setback? I’m in a lot of pain and I know the only solution is rest. GREAT. More time wasted and I feel like the clock is ticking harder, faster, stronger. I really need to make an effort to not get ahead of myself and let my body heal before I hit the pavement again (oh, and and drink more water. Lots and lots of water). This whole limping thing isn’t a good look for me (although it may have solved my Halloween costume debacle….Penguin, anyone?) Timing is everything in life, I suppose.
I realize my training is not going exactly as scheduled and is actually becoming much like an obstacle course rather than a simple running plan. But such is life. It’s what I’ll do with these curveballs that matters in the end. Hit and Home Run. That’s my plan. Miami ING… you still don’t scare me. I have my heart set on you. See you in January.