Tag Archives: obstacles

Thank you, Idiot.

I am moving to LA in two weeks. I left my comfortable job and will be driving cross-country to start a new adventure. Needless to say, I am extremely excited for what’s to come. I love adventures. But that excitement is also coupled with extreme anxiety. I’m nervous about a million things. Where will I work? When will I work? What if I don’t meet genuine people? What if I chose the wrong area and I end up amongst a bunch of materialistic idiots? I’m really tired of idiots.

 

I must’ve woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because not even the rush of mood-boosting endorphins as a result of my morning spin class could snap me out of the funk I found myself in. I decided to set every responsibility aside and gather my thoughts. Alone. Sunshine. Poolside. No crazy bike ride. No ridiculous long distance run. Just R&R to clear my head. Nothingness. Back to basics.

 

I think I was only there for about ten minutes before some guy tried to start meaningless conversation with me and another woman who was not sitting too far away. Don’t get me wrong, I am nice to everyone and love meeting and talking to new people, but the few minutes of conversation shared with this guy were mind-numbing. He seemed like a complete idiot (you know, the materialistic ones referenced above). He eventually realized my lack of enthusiasm and left me and the other woman alone in our conversation – a conversation that lasted nearly three and a half hours and touched on a broad spectrum of topics. Past experiences. Future experiences. Books. Careers. Society. Relationships. Food. People.

 

I am not an overly spiritual person by any means but I do believe things are occasionally presented to us as signs. They could take any form – music, literature, an incident, a moment. In this case, I was receiving a sign in the form of a person. I won’t get into too much detail not only because it would take up way too much of your time to read but also because it would really get quite personal. I don’t write to talk about me. I write to hope readers take something from my experiences. It seemed like everything her and I talked about resonated with something in my life, past or present. Everything from interests to emotions to experiences. In a very strange way, it almost felt as though I was having a conversation with an older version of myself. She brought me back down to Earth and opened my eyes without even realizing she was doing so. She wasn’t offering me advice and I wasn’t asking for it. We were just talking but I felt at peace. Confident and fearless. Original afternoon mission accomplished.

 

I have always believed that every encounter is intentional and every person in your life serves a purpose. Whether that role is big or small or whether you know what that purpose is now or twenty years from now, these people have been strategically placed in our lives for a reason. Even the idiots that make failed attempts to hit on you while you’re trying to meditate by the pool end up having something to bring to the table. I might not have ever even noticed this woman sitting right next to me. Don’t take for granted any conversation you may have with someone or the opportunity to have one. You may find comfort in a complete stranger. In my case, that comfort was just what I needed to guide some imminent decisions and get me back on a healthy mental track when I felt I was reaching a breaking point (which we all have, by the way). Keep your mind open to new people and new ideas and let the universe run its course. Brilliant things will happen.

 

And to the idiot wandering the pool – Thank you. You make me feel a tad bit more okay about any possible encounters with idiots in LA 🙂

 

“Life has funny turns. This was a good one.”

-Carmen

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Fear Not

Last January I decided to focus my self-improvement efforts on a single word that would guide me through 2013. It would be the driving force behind all of my actions. That word was Balance. As I reflect back on the last year I feel a personal success in my implementation of this word in my daily life. But enough about the past. Moving on. New year, new goals, new word.
While reading the article 37 Life Lessons in 37 Years, one of the author’s lessons really resonated with me: Fear is often a very good indicator of what we really want and need in our life. Let it be your compass and enjoy the exciting adventure it leads you on.

So it was decided. 2014 will be a Fearless endeavor.

We are all individually capable of so much, yet tend to hold back our potential because of our fears. Fear of failure, fear of loneliness, fear of  making mistakes. These fears cloud our minds and divert our attention away from our goals and the things we really want. We settle. We become comfortable. We don’t jump hurdles or take leaps into what could be a happier future. It’s too risky. We’ve got to much to lose. But do we?

I am an extremely ambitious person, always wanting to achieve bigger and better. And when I want something badly enough, I get it. I’ve always known that I will do great things someday. Someday. (Note: I define “great” as that in which is meaningful to ME, realizing others may not see it as such). But why am I waiting for Someday? The fears within that are keeping me from accomplishing these things NOW will only intensify as the clock ticks and I may eventually convince myself that I have more to lose than I once did.

So here I am, ready to push this new strategy. From this point forward I will base my decisions on the answer to the following question: What would you do if fear didn’t stop you?

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Hit and Home Run

Okay, I’ll admit it. I am guilty of unnecessarily stressing myself out over things that really are, in the grand scheme of things, no big deal. I tend to internally blow things out of proportion, which leads to over-thinking, which then leads to increased stress and sometimes a minor breakdown. I just want to throw my hands up in the air, screaming “I can’t do this!” like a lunatic. We’ve all been there, right? Between searching for a solution to my living situation, debating what my next career move should be, marathon training, and still finding time to manage my friends and family, I often feel like my head will explode. And on top of that, I am not the most confident person when it comes to making big decisions (surprise!). I won’t bore you with minute details but I do want to share the end result. Plain and simple: Everything has worked itself out (or is at least on the brink of it). I will be starting a new job at an ad agency in Midtown Miami in just under two weeks and have found an accommodating apartment that will not require me to make too much of a drastic change too quickly. Perfect. And here I was freaking out. Sometimes all it takes is saying things out loud and/or talking about them with someone else to realize that you already have a decision made. What you’re really looking for is reassurance. For me, at least. Lesson? Have confidence in your decisions and stop fearing that you will make the wrong ones. Even if you do turn out making what you think is the wrong move, it at least served as a valuable learning experience. Time to turn things around and move forward. As stated in earlier posts: There aren’t many things that are irreversible. Stop being so damn scared.

On another note, remember how I mentioned I’ll be going through those mood swings and bitchy moments during this training period? TADA! Here it is. Last Thursday night I stopped my run at six miles feeling like I was going to collapse. I went home to a hypotensive blood pressure of 81/41. I was severely dehydrated. I hate hospitals and refused to go to the ER. So I stayed up all night with a life-saving friend that kept me company and made sure I chugged water and gatorade all night long. I was back to normal by Friday mid-day, but needless to say, I gave my body a break for the weekend. Already discouraged from the incident, I went for a short tempo run on Monday night and somehow managed to strain my groin (self-diagnosis). Really? Another setback? I’m in a lot of pain and I know the only solution is rest. GREAT. More time wasted and I feel like the clock is ticking harder, faster, stronger. I really need to make an effort to not get ahead of myself and let my body heal before I hit the pavement again (oh, and and drink more water. Lots and lots of water). This whole limping thing isn’t a good look for me (although it may have solved my Halloween costume debacle….Penguin, anyone?) Timing is everything in life, I suppose.

I realize my training is not going exactly as scheduled and is actually becoming much like an obstacle course rather than a simple running plan. But such is life. It’s what I’ll do with these curveballs that matters in the end. Hit and Home Run. That’s my plan. Miami ING… you still don’t scare me. I have my heart set on you. See you in January.

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